Have you ever woken up one morning dreading the events about to unfold? Like you can practically predict the downward swings of the day and even when they might happen and with whom?
Friends, this is literally me “to-a-t” today. It’s been two months since my husband and I got married, and I’m already in an emotional and motivational slump. Hence the chill time with our pupper Mack on a beautiful day in our garage.
One theme continually crossing my mind as of late is this idea that no matter how sucky or awful my day might be, it’s always important to spend time in the Word. If I’m being completely vulnerable, I’ve been absolutely terrible at it pretty much since the day of the wedding.
This isn’t the only area I’ve been struggling in either: going to work has all of a sudden seemed like a chore, getting out of bed has become more and more difficult (it doesn’t help that we just bought new sheets and they feel like heaven), and the once simple task of being present during conversations has left me feeling empty, alone, and full of guilt and shame.
But seriously, who’s with me on the fact that so many of us deal with these same things every single day?
I think one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in this season of life is the fact that I am never alone in my struggles, even when they lie to me and tell me I’m an outcast.
There is this beautiful verse in Deuteronomy where Moses is passing down the leadership of the Israelites to Joshua:
“Be strong and courageous; don’t be terrified or afraid of them. For the Lord your God is the one who will go with you; he will not leave you or abandon you.”
~ Deuteronomy 31:6 (CSB)
Please do me a favor and read that sentence over and over and over again until it seeps so deeply into your brain that it has no choice but to resonate through the rest of your body.
Do not be terrified or afraid of them.
It is crazy but true for me to admit that the first thing I do instead of running to God with my problems is to instantly be afraid. I go to my feelings for affirmation and completely forget that He calls us out of darkness and into His glorious light because He will not leave us or abandon us in that darkness!
Friends, I am in no way invalidating you as you labor and work in life and in your relationship with Jesus. What you’re going through is real, and no one ever has the right to tell you otherwise! I have listened to too many self-centered, disheartening people try to tell me what they think about my situation instead of asking God what He thinks.
And so, as the broken person I am, I sit here still feeling the effects of my struggles. My heart is crying out, but it’s not to my emotion-driven brain, or my work ethic, or my job, or my performance-driven brain.
Today I choose to pour everything out to my Father, who never leaves me or abandons me.
No matter how many awful mistakes we make, how far we try to run, how many times we attempt to find refuge in literally anything other than Him, He is still there waiting for us.
And above all, do you know what the greatest part is?
Because He never leaves us, when we pour out our hearts to Him, He immediately fills it back up with things greater than we could ever provide for ourselves.
So today, feel free to really identify with what you’re experiencing right in this very moment of your life. However, instead of letting it consume you, force your heart to open to the One who calls Himself living water, that we may never again be thirsty. I can promise you this: the more you empty yourself at the foot of the cross, the more you will overflow with every spiritual blessing.
“But whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will never get thirsty again. In fact, the water I will give him will become a well of water springing up in him for eternal life.”
~ John 4:14 (CSB)
“Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavens in Christ.”
~ Ephesians 1:3 (CSB)