Heartbreak Holiday

I want to first thank all of you for being so patient with me as I wait (very impatiently) for words from God. My dedication to this blog is to never write something I feel as though the Lord isn’t putting on my heart.

That being said, prepare yourself. It’s been a long time coming, and there are things to be said.

These past couple weeks have really taught me God’s provision. What is that you may ask?

Picture this: you believe the Lord has granted you an incredible opportunity to be invested in a new group of people, regardless of if this involves sharing the Gospel, engaging in conversation at a work place, or creating new friendships through a hobby. Your heart soars at the idea that this might be exactly where you were meant to be (or what you were meant to do), and for a while, you feel right at home. Your environment is stable, kindness surrounds you, and a sense of comfort settles in.

All of a sudden, a train crashes into your building. You’re punched in the face with a sack of bricks. You’re thrown to the wolves and expectations are so high they make you feel less like a human being and more like a robot.

Sound familiar? I think we’ve all been there before.

This Easter season, our church in Columbus has, ironically, been going through the book of Luke and the story of Jesus. It’s interesting because it’s something you would normally hear during Christmas, but it’s coming at just the right time.

One of our pastors shared this past Sunday about how the Holy Spirit provided strength for Jesus when He was being tempted by the Devil. God’s provision for the Israelites during the 40 years in the wilderness and every time they cried out in hunger or thirst can be seen in Luke chapter four’s account of Jesus’ suffering.

As he spoke, I was reminded of God’s provision in my own life. Every time I get anxious or nervous about a new chapter in our lives, He somehow pulls through better than I expected. When I was in my car accident almost two months ago, there was no way my mind could have anticipated how the Lord was going to provide for us. When Joe and I traveled to Scotland and we both ended up getting sick for pretty much the entirety of the trip, He still provided ways for us to have fun even though we were feeling under the weather.

Whenever I get worried, I try to remember Jesus’ words that are written in Matthew:

“Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Matthew 6:26-34 (NKJV)

How easy it is for us to forget this truth! We freak out every time something doesn’t go our way and immediately try to grasp what’s been in His hands all along. It’s like begging Jesus to drive you to prom and then insisting on taking the wheel because He isn’t doing a good enough job of staying in the lanes.

I know it isn’t easy, but this holiday season, know that it’s okay to be heartbroken. Know that it’s okay to be sad that things didn’t work out just the way you planned. We get excited about things, and God loves to see us enjoying His created world! However, we must also understand that in that sadness comes a beautiful joy of Him working our lives into something incredible.

Friends, know this: this holiday isn’t just about the sorrow. It’s about the Savior.

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