3 Reasons Why We Struggle to Find Support

When was the last time you worked really hard for something, got super excited about it, but all of a sudden saw it explode before your eyes?

If I’m being honest, I’ve seen this happen just about every other week so far in 2019. I don’t know what it is about this year, but the Devil is definitely out to get me more than ever!

I’ve started to realize that where we find our worth, excitement, and happiness is actually key to truly finding happiness. When we search for it in our jobs, we are met with opposition because we are too “gung-ho” and need to back off. When we search for it in our friends, we are seen as “too clingy” and “need to get a life”. When we search for it in our relationships/marriage, we are judged for being “too connected to our spouses” and need to have our own lives apart from our significant others.

But what about this? When we are trying to find our worth in our families, what are we met with?

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in people.

Psalm 118:8 (NLT)

Friends, I think we all know that people aren’t perfect. We are disappointed, hurt, and abandoned by them; many people see this most prevalent in their families. When we hope for support, we find disgust, ignorance, or downright opposition.

So what are we doing? Why are we desperate for approval from people? I’ve been asking myself these questions all year and three reasons finally dawned on me as to why my heart continually seeks it. Check them out below, and let me know what you think in the comments!

1) We desire support from people because we don’t understand the magnitude at which God supports US.

This was one of the biggest blows I took these past couple weeks; I don’t understand just how much God is rooting for me. He even states in His Word that He will never abandon me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). He wants to give me all good things and desires for awesome things to work out in my life because He loves me! (James 1:17)

When God says He will leave the 99 to find you and bring you home, He means it (Matthew 18:12-14). Jesus left the rest of His followers when He went to get Zacchaeus down from the tree and follow Him (Luke 19:1-10). He abandoned all care of what other people thought of Him when He healed the paralyzed man who was dropped down from the ceiling (Luke 5:18-25). If He is able and willing to do all this for these people, how much more will He desire good things for you? (Matthew 7:11)

2) We desire support from people because we are built to be in a loving community.

This reason actually helped my heart a little; we were created in God’s image: His Spirit (Genesis 1:27 & John 4:24) AND in community (Matthew 3:16-17). Because God is community Himself in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we were created to be a part of one united body in Christ. Without this, we can never grow as individuals nor in our faith. We desire support from others because we care about our community and want to feel like we belong. However, the twist to this is because we are invested in a group of believers that aren’t perfect, our connection to them won’t be perfect either. When we understand that we are supported by God perfectly and we are given a community to help us grow, we can shift our gaze from the importance of the people in the community to the One who gave it to us.

3) We desire support from people because we will always have a hole in our heart until the day of Christ’s return.

Because we were created in God’s image like I touched on before, there is a void in our hearts that only God can fill. He wants us to desire and love Him, but it has to be of our own choice. When we try to find support from people, it’s like trying to put a circle inside a square: it doesn’t exactly fit. Therefore we continually feel like something is missing and search high and low to cover every gap. When we realize that God is the custom piece in our puzzle, we can start working on not turning to friends, family, jobs and relationships.

So here’s the challenge this week: make a list of all the people/things you can think of that may be a temptation for you to run to; pray through that list every day for a week, and ask the Lord where He wants you to go apart from these. If you want more accountability, share your list with someone, even if they are included in it! Ask them to pray for you too and help you in figuring out what areas need more Jesus. You’ll be amazed what God might bring up!

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